Head Over Feet
by Kurai.Musume
Summary: This is a songfic from Yuki's POV, reflecting on his relationship with Shuichi. Please read and review (it's my first ever published fic)!


Ok, this is my first ever published fic, and my first ever song-fic. Sometimes when you hear a song, it just seems to  
completely suit a particular person/character. The song is Head Over Feet, by Alanis Morissette, and the character is Yuki!  
Please write comments and stuff, and e-mail me! I thrive on e-mails. Hope ya enjoy!  
  
  
God, how did you manage to enter my life? Just when I was beginning to feel settled... Yuki's death was fading into the back  
of my mind, the hurt, the anguish, the feeling of my heart being torn into tiny pieces. I suppose this should be eloquently   
written, I'm a damn romance author, not that the stories ever ring true. Life doesn't work that way...  
  
I had no choice but to hear you  
You stated your case time and again  
I thought about it.  
  
For so many years, no-one could come near me. I pushed them all away. Some were more stubborn than others, but they all  
gave up. How could you, a pink-haired scatterbrain with no talent, break through? I kept pushing and pushing, and still you  
fought, you pushed back. I lie watching you, you're sleeping, curled up next to me, one arm draped possessively over me.  
I am yours. You said so yourself so many times. Only now has that sunk in.  
  
You treat me like I'm a princess  
I'm not used to liking that  
You ask how my day was.  
  
Why do you stay by me? I give you the cold shoulder, ignore you, try to hate you, but you always bounce back, wearing that  
smile. Did you inherit that smile from your mother? She must be beautiful then. I lock myself in utter silence, trying  
to work on my latest pile of popularised drivel. Proverbial shit. Sparing no thought for my thoughts and feelings, you  
barge right in, bringing with you a cacophony of screeches, smashes, bangs, and yelps. As terrible as that noise sounds, to  
me it begins to sound like music, the music of Shuichi. You even try to make dinner sometimes. I'd rather die than eat it,  
or admit that I'm thankful, but I love you so much for trying.  
  
You've already won me over in spite of me  
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your fault.  
  
Do you have any idea what it costs me to love you? You cause me so much pain, but through the pain, there is a sort of  
pleasure, knowing that you are mine, and mine only. You manage to piss me off, convincing me that it's all for my own good.  
Hell, I gave up smoking and drinking for you. I guess when you said that I belonged to only you, you meant that my vices  
weren't allowed to control me any more. You stole all of those times when I would indulge in sulking by banging down my  
door and complaining about one thing or another. I want to hate you, so very much, but how can you hate someone that you  
love beyond life itself.  
  
Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole  
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for  
That's not lip service.  
  
Since I published my first book, women have clamoured for my attention. I guess they all believed that I was going to give  
them an experience similar to my books. Sweeping them off their feet and riding off into the sunset on the back of a   
palamino. What they got was me at my worst. I used them all, so many women, at least a new one every week. did you know  
what a slut I was, Shuichi? Would you still want me? I think you would. You made me feel, it scared me so much. You  
had never read any of my books, you hadn't even heard of me. You came to me wanting nothing more than love and affection.  
People like that just don't exist. That's why I fought harder than normal to get rid of you. You stood up to me, and   
followed me everywhere, battering down my defences, one layer at a time. You stripped me until my essence was naked to you.  
Do you know how much that frightened me? Not only did you stand up to me, but to my family, your family, the general  
public, our friends, and even defied Seguchi Tohma. No-one EVER defied that man, until you. You have a power to make   
people feel as though losing is the most wonderful thing in the world, only slightly beaten by victory. Second place can be  
brilliant. I put you second, and you were happy to get a placing. When I put you first, you changed again, like a butterfly  
so beautiful that it can make you cry.  
  
You've already won me over in spite of me  
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your fault.  
  
When you first invaded my life, I could think of nothing better than getting rid of you, but you've grown on me, God how I  
love you, I can't even comprehend the idea of living without you.  
  
You are the bearer of unconditional things  
You held your breath and the door for me  
Thanks for your patience.  
  
You clutter up everything, physically, and mentally. My thoughts swirl and blend around me. Images of you, me, Kitazawa,   
all flash by in my head. This made me so angry, that's why I rejected you for so long, and yet you stayed. You waited for  
me, until I could be ready to finally accept my feelings for you, and bring you into my world.  
  
You're the best listener that I've ever met  
You're my best friend  
Best friend with benefits  
What took me so long.  
  
I told you of my past, one for which my father saw fit to shun me, and you stayed, you could still tell me how much you love  
me. Sleeping as you are, I am reminded of a guardian angel, always watching over me, keeping me safe, and holding me. When  
you hold me, the world rushes by, and I don't notice. Your touch erases the tears of the past. All I feel is your love for   
me.  
  
I've never felt this healthy before  
I've never wanted something rational  
I am aware now  
I am aware now.  
  
You opened my eyes to see what I could not previously. I now see the love and light in the world. You have given me faith   
in something greater than myself. I could never even hope to tell you of all the things you mean to me, but for the rest of  
our days, I will try. You've turned my life upside-down and inside-out, and have never changed who you are inside. For me,  
you changed the small things, like knocking before entering, and keeping the music down when I have a headache, but I've   
changed too hopefully for the better. I'm becoming more tolerant, more caring, I'm wanting to spend so much time with you,  
and I even compliment your lyrics... the very thing that brought us together really... if I hadn't been so rude, you wouldn't  
have followed me home.  
  
You've already won me over in spite of me  
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your fault.  
  
You are to blame, for so much, so, thankyou. 


End file.
